Hate

Hate is just a word you for somebody you love but no longer believe in the love you had.

            We engage in friendships, in relationships and eventually let ourselves drown in the crazy world of romantic love. You fall for those words, those simple letters, the surprises and all those sweet, silly things you can think about. You love like loving is all you can do. You love not realizing that by letting that someone take a part of you, that someone will eventually take over you. You love and let yourself be loved. And when you’ve already foolishly allowed yourself to enjoy that extreme but blissful roller coaster ride, it suddenly stops.

            All of a sudden, things become complicated. And sometimes you complicate things yourself. You overthink. You doubt. Then, the anguish of hurting swallows you like a monster, the scariest you’ve ever seen. You hurt, keep on hurting. Later on, the inevitable comes – HATE. You hate like hating is all that’s left to do. You hate like you’ve never learned to love before. You hate that someone. You hate that someone together with all the memories you once so cherished together. You hate the things that remind of all that you’ve had before. You hate even just the thought of that someone. You hate, even despise. And it makes you even harder to let go.

            But you have to. You must… because it’s all over. Hatred is not what you really feel. It’s all because of the what ‘ifs’. You don’t simply hate that someone. You’re just scared of facing the reality of not being together, of being alone again. But you don’t have to be. People leave us because their part in the story of our lives is over. And hatred is not the answer, it should never be.

Waking up

One of the best and most favorite things I love doing is waking up in the morning, earlier than anybody else. I just love feeling the cold, damp air from my legs up to my neck and down my spine. I love listening to the birds, waking people up with their chirping. I sit down by the pavement and watch jeepneys, motorcycles and cars pass by. It is the only time of the day I appreciate listening to the sound of the engine, to feel of the wheel rubbing against the cemented street. I sit there, watching the puny, red ants make its way onto the candy plastics and peanut peels lying on the ground, indicating a life standing above it a night ago.

I love watching the sun rise. It’s as if a new life is being born, suggesting a new today, a new hope; another day to spend, to be happy, to make others happy.

            Happiness comes to those who give love freely and who don’t demand that others love them first…be generous like the sun’s rays, which shine without asking first whether people deserve their warmth.